Friday Fictioneers – A Bitter Heart

The challenge each week: A new picture, a new story. Beginning, middle, and end, in 100 words. Thanks to Rochelle Wisoff-Fields for hosting. Click on the blue frog at the bottom to read the works of other Fictioneers. And please, let me know what you think. Constructive criticism is golden.

Photo - Copyright Jan Wayne Fields
Photo – Copyright Jan Wayne Fields

A Bitter Heart – 100 words

She’s prosecuting a violent gang lord. I’ve duplicated the key to the vacant apartment.

“Special occasion?” she mutters, while thumbing through reams of testimony.

“Going away party,” I reply. My words never register.

“It’s stuffy in here,” she complains. “Open the window.”

“Perfect.” I raise the sash, and stand very, very still. I feel—something? Nothing. Hear the impact; papers flutter. I step over her. Walk to the corner vendor.

“What’ll ya have?”

“Foot long, all the way. Extra onions.” Bread like air. Popped casing. Chili drips, and I lick it from my hand. No organic baby arugula, ever again.

“A bitter heart, that bides its time, and bites.” –Robert Browning, “Caliban upon Setebos”


11 thoughts on “Friday Fictioneers – A Bitter Heart

  1. She did ask for the window to be opened! Great story of betrayal. I actually don’t understand the last para – is it a hot dog she’s having? She’s going to prison for her part in this? And I had to Google arugula (what a funny word) – we call it rocket. Perhaps we should all stick to the Latin for Friday Fictioneers?


    1. ‘Tis a betrayal. I should have gone over 100 and added “across the courtyard” to the end of the second sentence. The story sounded so clear in my head. He’s having a hot dog, finally. She’s dead on the floor. Whether the husband or the assassin ends up in prison or not is anyone’s guess, but no arugula either way. (What some people will do to avoid eating vegetables!)

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Nice work, and I love the mix of sadness and snark. My only comment… It almost sounds, with “I step over her,” that she’s dead. Emotionally, maybe, but I don’ think you mean she’s literally dead. Glad to see you keeping up with Friday Fictioneers. It’s a lot of fun, as well as a creative stretch, isn’t it?


Let me know what you think. Constructive Criticism is golden.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s